The Memories that Haunt

This morn I lay, not sleeping, in
my bed from six to eight
My mind traipsed through old memories
that spilled by in full spate.
And suddenly I found myself
Born down beneath their weight
The memories of hurtful thoughts,
Deeds filled with rage or hate,
Or words cast out too casually
And called back much too late.

I nearly broke beneath them all,
The stupid and the vain,
The words designed with hurt in mind,
Intended to cause pain.
And those I spoke indifferently
And those filled with disdain
The words I wish I could erase
And yet they still remain,
A scar upon my callused soul,
A brand, a shame, a stain.

I wept and wallowed in disgrace
Ashamed at all I’d done
And knowing I could never stop
Those hurts that I’d begun,
Nor call back all the bitter thoughts
That through my mind had run.
I know I’m not the only one
Whose sin the world should shun
But I was lost within that sin
And I was nigh undone.

Then on my knees I found myself,
My hands covered my face,
And with my Love I shared it all
My shame and my disgrace,
And all the reasons He should turn
Away His loving face.
Instead He lifted up my soul
Within His warm embrace
He washed away the scars and shame
And gave me in their place
The peace that comes from loving Him
And walking in His Grace.