Fairy Tales? NAH!

Where then is the happy ending?
The prince, who was a toad,
Rescued the damsel on his stead
And off the two then rode.

I think that I'm doing it wrong,
Though often in distress,
I can't seem to convince the birds
To come clean up my mess.

I don't want mice under my feet,
However well they sew,
And pumpkin coaches just don't have
the same get up and go.

I must admit a handsome prince
Could be a boon most days,
But I doubt he would tolerate
My wicked old witch ways.

I guess I have to settle with
Watching them on TV,
It doesn't seem like fairy tales
Will ever work for me!